Okay…maybe you’re the guy who thinks he’s pretty good with the dating thing, or you might be that guy who hasn’t dated in years. You could be that guy who’s never had a hope in hell with women. Whatever “dating guy” you are, there are some common, much known, but still unwritten rules of dating to follow when playing the dating game. These rules exist to protect your egos and to guarantee some degree of success when they’re followed correctly. We women are trained from day one in the art of dating combat. We have a physical and emotional weapons collection that you will most likely never be able to compete with. But don’t be shy gentlemen. I’m going to let you in on a few secrets.
So…you’ve managed to snag a date with a hot woman. Regardless of how you met her, the general rules are going to be the same. On your first date, the key is to MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION, but we don’t want you to go overboard. So, here are a few basics;
1. Do your best to look your best. Simply put, don’t rely on your own judgment with regard to what looks good on you if you haven’t made that call in awhile. Get some decent clothes and shoes, and if at all possible, get a woman to help you pick them out. FOCUS on the shoes gentlemen. I kid you not when I tell you, that we ALWAYS look at your shoes. Believe it or not gentlemen, your shoes tell us two things:
a) whether or not you care about your appearance, and
b) we can tell whether or not you’re gainfully employed by the condition of the shoes that you wear on your first date.
Trust me, if you show up in a beat up pair of Nike’s, we’re gonna dash in a heartbeat.
2. Get clothes that fit you, suit your style, and are relatively mainstream but non-trendy. Buy a few new pieces if you can. If you’re not sure what your style is, there are a few ways to figure that out (I’ll elaborate another time). Make those new pieces upscale casual, as it’s always a safe bet. A nice long sleeved dark colored crewneck or V-neck sweater with a lighter colored tee shirt underneath and a cool pair of jeans always does the trick. It says ‘confident’ but not ‘cocky’. We don’t like ‘cocky’ gentlemen…leave it at home.
3. This is a serious no-brainer but it should be said; you wouldn’t date a woman who smelled bad, so you should smell good. Invest in a good deodorant, get over your dislike of sweet smelling shower gels and nicely lathering soaps …and get a nice LIGHT cologne. She shouldn’t be able to smell you from 4 blocks away. Go easy on it. Don’t spray it directly onto your skin. Spray it into the air a couple of times, and walk through it. Head down to the salon or barber and get that mop cut if it needs it, trim it up or get a decent style if that’s what it needs.
4. If you don’t have a job….GET ONE. We’re not interested in the guy who has no ambition. Trust me, we females don’t aspire to growing up and finding the man of our nightmares; you know, the 30 year old dude who still lives at home with Ma and Pa. We don’t like to be the one in the relationship who has the car and the sweet “crib”. If you don’t have a job, put off the dating thing for awhile, crack the classifieds and hit the pavement. Very few things are a bigger turn off for a woman than getting “I’m taking a break from employment” as the answer to “So, what do you do for a living?”
5. I once dated a guy who was so gorgeous I could barely concentrate on anything but staring at him. But when he opened his mouth to speak, I wanted to turn and run. All he talked about was himself, his ex girlfriend, his ex-wife or his job. Such a shame. What a waste.
Learn to converse with the opposite sex. Show some interest in what they do for a living, whether or not they have siblings, where they grew up, etc. Read the paper, Find a good book to get involved with. Watch the news every once in awhile. Brush up on current affairs, but don’t bore her to death with it on your first date…or on your 10th for that matter…
6. If you’re the guy who loves to do nothing 4 nights a week in a pub-type atmosphere with your friends, keep that to yourself. We’re not interested in the guy who aspires to break the world record in “Pub Dwelling”. Not impressive.
7. If you smoke….QUIT. It’s a disgusting habit. I don’t know a woman alive who likes kissing a man who smokes.
8. Very few things are sexier than a considerate man with really good manners. “Thank you” when it’s appropriate, holding the door for us…we like that. We watch how you treat others. I tell the women that I coach about dating, “Don’t listen to what he says. Talk is easy. Find out who he is by watching what he does and how he treats others.” If you talk about how valuable your family is to you, yet you badmouth your mother in front of us, we’re done.
9. Say what you mean; mean what you say. This ties in with us watching you more than we listen to you. If you tell her that you think she’s beautiful, funny and interesting, and you have a great time together, but you never communicate with her unless she calls or texts you, she’ll find someone who says what he means, and actually backs it up with action. Men are a dime a dozen for a good woman gentlemen, so say what you mean…mean what you say.
And last but definitely not least, number 10 would be to pay attention to what she says. When you ask her a question, listen to the answer. Remember it for later. Trust me, she’ll be impressed.